Dear Albino Serial Killer,
I noticed you standing behind me today at the post office and thought your translucent hair to be quite odd. Yeah, I know you have the inability to form pigment and your pink eyes freaked me out but I thought you were pretty harmless until you started flirting with the young lady between us. She was definitely cute, I’ll give you that. And I’ll even give you kudos for your conversation starters, they were good. In fact, if you hadn’t been a 50 year-old albino, I wouldn’t have even of thought twice about your conversation.
I even thought you might have had a chance, she was giggling and receptive. She told you about her career as a model and that she was trying to win pageants to get scholarship money for medical school. You guys talked about all the schools she had applied to and it was actually interesting. Then when you asked about her family, she even told you where they were from, where they lived and all about her travels. She is from California. Cool, I love Cali. Just got back from there on Saturday. It’s a beautiful state and most of the people are nice (excluding Monterey/Carmel types). But when you started going off on the “I like to hunt and I own lots of guns” tangent, you lost her. In fact, I think the whole line was listening because after that comment, everything got REAL quiet and awkward. Thank God, I was next in line because it was terrifying for all involved. You gave it a good try, if you hadn’t given off the whole “I would wear your skin as a hat” vibe, you might have gotten her number. Better luck next time.
Mike4 years ago